Maduro's Gold Stash Nabbed: 161 Tons in US Clutches Post-Kidnap Raid 🪙🇻🇪🚁

Venezuela's 161-ton gold hoard - Latin America's fattest fiat-fuck-you stack - sits pretty while Trump's spec ops "captured" Maduro and wifey in a Saturday blitz, shipping them to Brooklyn jail for narco-terror trials.

Spectacle supreme: dictator's bars as regime bling, now Trump's "administer Venezuela till transition" prize, with oil rigs queued for Yankee fix-up.

Crypto degens chanting "gold > BTC" get ironic rugpull - US imperialism HODLs the hoard while preaching sound money.

Maduro's hyperinflation hedge?

Just Uncle Sam's new yield farm.

Provocative plot twist: whose "reserves" now, sovereignty simps?

Peak petro-gold clownworld.