Me: "I'm retiring today.
$PEPE to the moon,
$DOGE is the new global reserve currency, and my Hyperliquid longs are up 400%."
The Market (5 minutes later): Brian Armstrong pulls support for the CLARITY Act, $1.3 billion in ETF outflows hit the tape, and Zcash devs rage quit.
Me:
"Hello, McDonald's? Yes, I'm calling about the night shift position. I have extensive experience in high-stress environments and managing rapid liquidations (mostly my own)."
The "Degen" 2026 Snapshot:
The "CLARITY" Chaos: The Senate vote is a mess. Coinbase just pulled support because the bill is 300 pages of "regulatory yikes," causing a massive "Guh" across the board.
Meme Overdose:
$PEPE and $POPCAT were leading a 30% rally until the ETF redemptions turned the charts into a red wedding.
Short Squeeze: We just saw $577 million in shorts get incinerated in 24 hours. If you didn't get liquidated today, are you even trying?
#Crypto2026to2030 #Hyperliquid #CLARITYAct #liquidation #memecoin