Why do you play contracts, and why do you gamble? What does gambling have to do with cognition? The direction is 55-45; is it just betting in the wrong direction? The key is that you don't set stop losses and play randomly based on luck.

Last night completely broke me, I lost 620,000 dollars in just six months. I really hate myself and don't know what to do. I'm so confused about the future.
A life without anyone to fall back on and a strong-willed personality has made me seem like I can handle anything. Thus, fate, in order to guide you, continuously hones the things you are attached to until you are no longer attached, until you become a calm person, until you are given a new answer. However, this lesson requires shedding many tears and enduring a lot of suffering because people always live within their own perceptions. I’ve been in the contract for less than six months. I really blame myself for why I took this path; now, the ones I owe an apology to are my family. I don’t know where the road is? Where is the future?