gm

At two o'clock in the morning, the ceiling always automatically plays the collection of past mistakes.

I often find myself at this hour, staring blankly at the light seeping through the curtain seams. My mind is filled with those unchosen option B's: what if I hadn't resigned back then, what if I had held back from arguing that day, what if I had chosen another city...

We tend to stand in the omniscient perspective of now, criticizing that former self who was groping in the fog and hurrying along. But the truth is, back then you only had that little experience, only that bit of information; that choice was already the best possible solution you could have made at the time.

There was never a life that was supposed to be better.

Open your palm and take a look, our hands are just this big; if we hold tightly to career, we can't grasp freedom; if we hold on to stability, passion will slip through our fingers. Wanting everything usually means you end up with nothing.

Acknowledging that you are not outstanding is, in fact, a high-level way to stop losses. Don't get entangled with bad people, because your time is precious; don't torment yourself with the past, because your sleep is precious. Those people who are hot and cold, those relationships that gradually drift away, are just the natural unloading of passengers when this train arrives at the station.

The so-called self-created life, viewed from another angle, is a life where I dictate the terms. Although this sounds a bit bleak, it conceals the greatest freedom of adulthood.

I used to think that growing up meant learning how to win.
Now I understand that maturity is being able to look at a game that you have played poorly, and calmly say to yourself: it's okay, no regrets in the moves we made, let's continue playing.

Those bitter moments that you chewed and swallowed at night will eventually become the path that can still hold the ground even when you say nothing.