🧢 Wipes sweat off forehead. Adjusts red bandana. Stares directly into your soul.
Okay who gave Tonico El Pescador access to my portfolio?
I open @Fogo Disc yesterday. I just want to check if my airdrop eligibility passed. INSTEAD I get aggressively interrogated by a man who looks like he wrestles marlins for fun and smells like saltwater and victory.
“What you gonna do with all that FISH?”
BRO. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT HERE.
One minute I’m farming points like a degens. Next minute @Fogo Official drops the first ever onchain game and suddenly I’m a fisherman? I didn’t sign up for maritime labor. I signed up for 40ms block times and Firedancer validation.
But here we are.
The meta flipped so fast I got whiplash. We went from “wen mainnet” to “wen rod upgrade.” Everyone in Discord is now a self-proclaimed Captain. People are naming their boats. There’s a guy roleplaying as Tonico in VC. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
And the worst part?
The game is actually fun. 🎣
You cast. You reel. You stack FISH. No lag. No “transaction failed” popup. No paying $50 in gas just to watch a JPEG swim away. This is what happens when you build an SVM L1 with ex-Citadel quants and Jump traders—they turn mainnet stress tests into a fishing derby and somehow it SLAPS.
So yeah Tonico. I have 10,000 FISH.
What am I gonna do with it?
I’m gonna catch more. Obviously.
Now if you‘ll excuse me, my boat leaves at dawn. Something about “multi-local consensus” or whatever.🧢🐟