😂 My portfolio right now:

Down bad. Like... REALLY bad.

Me: "Doctor, my portfolio is flatlining!"

Doctor: "I'm sorry, we lost it."

Me: "But it was at $69K yesterday!"

Doctor: "That was a dead cat bounce." 💀

My wife: "Are you cheating on me?"

Me: "No, I'm just married to Bitcoin."

My wife: "Same thing. Both leave me disappointed." 💔

911 Operator: "What's your emergency?"

Me: "I just checked my portfolio."

911 Operator: "Sir, that's not a medical emergency."

Me: "My heart says otherwise." 🚑

My crypto portfolio trying to recover: exists

Market: slaps roof of Bitcoin "This bad boy can fit so many red candles in it." 📉

Crypto investor: "I'm not leaving the table until I win back my money."

Market: "Sir, this is a Wendy's." 🍔

Me checking charts at 3 AM: visible confusion

My cat: judging me

My cat's portfolio: probably doing better than mine 🐱

Doctor: "You have 6 months to live."

Crypto investor: "Can I get that in crypto years?"

Doctor: "...What?"

Crypto investor: "So like... next week?" ⏰

👇 Drop a 💀 if your portfolio needs a hug today

BTC

68,537.18

+1.20%

ETH

1,992.45

+1.39%

BNB

628.81

+0.92%

#cryptohumor #DarkHumorOK #bitcoin #CryptoLife2026 #BinanceSquareActions